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The following is a story of Voltron I made up based on the T.V. cartoon Voltron by World Events Productions. I did not have World Events Productions' permission to do the story and therefore it does not have World Events Productions' endorsement.
Near the beginning of the reign of Queen Allura and King Keith of Planet Arus, King Zarkon of Planet Doom infiltrated the Castle of Lions in an attempt to finally conquer Planet Arus. Zarkon’s plan failed, but King Keith’s ring finger and back of his hand was injured during a fight with the King of Doom. After later examination by Doctor Gorma, it was determined that Keith’s hand would heal well with no lingering ill effects except for the prediction that it would be a scar. However, Doctor Gorma was reluctant to say that there would be scarring. He knew of the miraculous healing powers the rings of the king and queen had shown once before, and he felt that it was quite possible that certainty of a medical prognosis could be defied again. It turned out though that Doctor Gorma’s prognosis that Keith’s hand would be permanently scarred was right. For the rest of his life, Keith had that battle scar on his finger and hand. What was obvious was that though the ring had not saved the king’s hand from being scarred, it had saved it from being dismembered or disabled.
Darla had also suffered re-injury to her already permanently injured shoulder on that fateful day Zarkon invaded the castle. Doctor Gorma determined that the shoulder would get better as it had been before she re-injured it. And as time passed, her arm was as it was before, just as was the doctor’s prognoses.
The recovery of King Keith and Darla pretty much describes what had taken place in the aftermath of Zarkon’s “visit” to the castle, except for a bit of trivia regarding a strange dream Lance had during that night. When he awoke the next morning, he didn’t remember much of it except that it had been about the fight between Keith and Zarkon. Other than that, he only remembered one part vividly. He chuckled to himself. The whole idea of it was hilarious, and a whole story of what could have happened next was playing out in his mind. It was all like a spoof off of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in the trilogy known as “Star Wars.” He just had to get it written down!
Quietly he rolled out of bed from beside his wife Carla and tried to be extra quiet so as not to wake up his one and a half-year-old son, Nick. Lance had a dizzy feeling come to his head, and he promptly, but silently sat on the floor with his head down, waiting for the feeling to go away. He could tell he still wasn’t completely over that stomach flu he had, but he did feel much better. Soon Lance was up again and quietly sneaked out of the room still wearing his pajamas. It was early in the morning and he sneaked over to the library where he thought he wouldn’t be disturbed. There he found paper and promptly began writing up a storm, laughing out loud every now and then as he went. After a mere hour, he was finished. He looked it over quick and then smiled – kind of a sinister smile. Then he processed the manuscript into a computer in the library that quickly analyzed his handwriting and translated it into typed print. Lance looked through the whole thing on the computer screen and fixed errors before he had a printed copy ran off.
“This is great stuff!” remarked Lance as he looked over the printed copy and smiled big.
Then he rushed back to his room to let Carla be the first to read it.
“Where have you been?” asked Carla who had just finished rocking Nick back to sleep so he’d sleep just a while longer.
“I wrote a story,” answered Lance excitedly. “You gotta read it. It’s hilarious! Just think of 'Star Wars' with the 'Empire Strikes back' and 'Return of the Jedi' when you read it."
He handed her the manuscript, and she took it and began to read:
The King of Doom had infiltrated the Castle of Lions on Arus. His main purpose for being there was to capture the Queen of Arus and dispose of others along the way. His faithful ugly crone, Witch Hagar, and her fiendish evil cat tagged along to stop anything that might keep the King of Doom from achieving his objective.
Just when Zarkon had found the queen and was about to snatch her away, he was bowled over by King Keith of Arus who had suddenly appeared on the scene.
And there Carla stopped and looked at Lance. "What about the part when Hunk had his 'accident' all over King Zarkon?" she questioned.
"Yeah, I skipped that part," said Lance quickly. "It was disgusting. Read the rest! You're just getting to the good part!"
So Carla read on:
And so there lay the King of Doom flat on his back on the floor and looking up at the towering King of Arus holding a laser sword blade a mere frog's hair away from Zarkon's neck. (And then came the part Lance remembered so vividly from his dream. In reality Zarkon had said to Keith, "Keith. So you're the one who took my son's arm. Well, you're not taking mine!" But the following is what Lance remembered word for word from his dream:)
"Keith," said Zarkon aloud in a moment of realization. "I am your father."
"Noooo!" yelled Keith, anguished over the news.
And then he said in an awe stricken quiet voice, "It can't be." The blade he held to Zarkon's neck hadn't moved. (Now the rest of this story is just more elaboration of that only part Lance remembered of his dream.)
Zarkon slid himself away from the laser sword and stood up. Keith hadn't moved. He just stood there stunned by the news and still holding the laser sword down where Zarkon once was.
"Put that away, son," said Zarkon calmly as he rested a hand on Keith's shoulder and then reached down to shut the laser sword off and guided Keith's hand to put it away.
"Don't listen to him!" pleaded Queen Allura, weak with sickness and sitting on the floor in the hallway.
"No, Allura," said Keith. "He's telling the truth. He is my father."
Then he turned back to Zarkon, "What happened to you, Dad?"
Zarkon put an arm across Keith's shoulders and began to walk him down the hall. Hagar and her blue fur ball followed, but the queen was left behind. She weakly called after Keith, but he ignored it. He was enthralled by the story Zarkon, his father, had to tell.
"You see, son," began the King of Doom, "Your mother and I became lost in space during that last mission we were on, and then disaster happened. Every person on board died except your mother and I and somebody's pet cat. We had crash-landed in an escape pod on a planet full of alligators. The pod was going to explode so we had to get out and we did before the explosion happened. We were weak and lay helpless on the ground as a fresh meal for the alligators. Only the cat was full of vigor. It tried to run, but was promptly swallowed by the nearest alligator. Then the explosion happened and kept the alligators at bay just a while longer. It seemed a futile prolonging of our lives until…"
"Until what?" asked Keith. "What happened to you, Dad?"
"Until a meteorite full of nuclear radiation suddenly hit and crushed your mother. This startled one of the alligators so much that he puked up the cat he had just eaten. It was disgusting. I'm tellin' ya; this was no ordinary puke. It was just the cat and it was all whole and everything. But it didn't even look like the same cat. There it was, lifeless in front of my face with all this blue slime covering all over it and perfectly molding to its shape.
"Then the meteorite began to glow and your mother crawled out from under it alive! But she was ugly though! An alligator was approaching me with its jaws open, and at that moment I was welcoming the idea of getting chomped and having my life ended. But then this orange beam came out of the meteorite and hit me and the alligator too. I writhed with the burning sensations going through me, and when it was over, the alligator was gone, and I had become the person you see beside you today."
"And you became King of the Drule Empire?" questioned Keith not understanding how that made any sense.
"Well, you see, son," continued Zarkon, "After I had become the creature you see beside you, your mother did a peculiar thing. She walked over and picked up that blue slime ball cat. Her hands glowed a yellow glow, and then it came to life! Now I kid you not when I tell you this; the new creature to behold was uglier than your mother and I combined! The slime didn't last though. Later the cat dried off and was an evil looking blue fur ball with fangs."
Upon hearing that, Keith had a look of appall come over him, and he lost interest in knowing how Zarkon had become king or even of how he had ever gotten off that alligator infested planet for that matter.
"You mean…" stammered Keith.
"Yes, son. Hagar is your mother.”
“Noooo!” yelled Keith in anguish for the second time that day.
There was a moment of silence. By then all four of them were outside the castle and standing on the edge of the crater full of lava that contained Lance’s very, very, very, totally cool red lion.
Keith broke the silence when he said, “Then Lotor… Lotor was my brother?”
“Yes, son,” assured Zarkon.
“And I killed him with the white lion,” said Keith regrettably.
“And before that you took his arm.”
An overwhelming feeling of guilt came over Keith, and he drooped his head down in shame.
Zarkon lifted Keith’s chin, “But, son, if I was going to choose losing one of you, it’d be Lotor. He was an idiot, and you were better than him at everything!”
“Thanks, Dad,” said Keith smiling and feeling better. Then he hugged Zarkon who hugged him back.
Then they stood apart, and Zarkon smiled when he said, “And now with Lotor gone you are heir to Doom!”
“No!” exclaimed Hagar harshly. “Dispose of him! We can’t trust him!”
“Mom!” exclaimed Keith in horrified surprise, and then he turned to Zarkon. “Dad, you don’t have to listen to her. She’s your servant. You give her the orders.”
“I’m sorry son. That’s just the way it appears to be. Really she’s my master.”
“Now destroy him!” ordered Hagar.
Zarkon started to reach for Keith, but then stopped and drew back.
“No. I can’t do it,” said Zarkon. “Not to the only son I have left. He can change you know. He’ll join on the side of evil.”
“Ohhh, you Lira Rose! Then I’ll do it!”
After having said that, the witch dropped the dreaded blue fur ball who promptly jumped back up and perched on her right shoulder. Then the witch aimed her wooden staff and shot Keith with an energy beam.
“Ahhh!” yelled Keith and he fell into the crater of lava, but he caught hold onto a rocky crag on the way down.
Hagar saw that he was still alive and shot more energy beams at him to make him lose his hold and plummet to his destruction. Keith writhed in pain as the beams hit him and he struggled not to lose his grip.
Zarkon was watching. He looked at his son Keith fighting to stay alive, and he looked at Hagar ruthlessly trying to destroy him. Then, all at once, Zarkon deliberately began walking over to Hagar, picked her up, and threw her into the lava below.
“Nooo!” screamed Hagar as she plummeted to her own destruction she had meant for Keith.
“Rrr-eee-ow!” screeched the evil blue fur ball as it also fell to its demise.
Keith was hanging on with one hand as he saw the destruction of the old hag and her good-for-nothing cat. Then he managed to climb his way out of the crater only to see his dad seemingly dead laying at the edge of the crater where he had thrown Hagar off. Keith went to him and the King of Doom was still barely alive. Keith cradled Zarkon’s head in his lap, his tears flowing freely.
“Dad! Don’t go!” pleaded Keith.
“Son, I am old. I can’t hang on any longer. Your mother’s magic has done me in, and I can’t live without her. My alligator ticker just ain’t gonna work anymore.”
And with those last words, Zarkon’s life slipped away and he perished. The new King of Doom wept bitterly. But the two planets of Arus and Doom had been united at long last.
And there the story finished. Carla hadn’t cracked a smile through the whole thing. She could tell though that Lance was especially biased against Witch Hagar’s cat, although obviously biased against Hagar, Lotor, and Zarkon as well. She also caught the fact that with Zarkon and Hagar being inherently Earthlings in the story, then how could they have had a Drule son, Lotor? She even picked up on the fact that although Lance thought the idea of having Hunk’s diarrhea accident in the story was disgusting, he sure went into a lot of detail elsewhere about vomit.
“Well, what’d ya think of it?” asked Lance anxiously.
“Burn it,” said Carla simply.
“What’d ya mean burn it? It’s hilarious!”
“It’s not funny at all!”
“What’s not so funny about it?”
Oh, let me see,” said Carla sarcastically. “How about the fact that because I’m Keith’s sister that would make Zarkon my dad and Hagar my mom? Or, how about that Zarkon and that witch are nothing like my parents, and if you had ever known them you wouldn’t have dared to make the comparison? Or, how about the fact that the story makes that monstrous blue Drule, Lotor, who once kidnapped me, my brother!”
Lance was smirking and snickering throughout his wife’s rant of complaints, and then he said, “Yeah, so what’s not so funny about all of that?”
Carla was quiet for a moment, as she was seething in anger and coolly staring Lance down. Then she strategically said, “How about the fact that, that would make Zarkon you’re father-in-law?”
Lance paled upon hearing her comment as a flood of realizations came to him about his story.
“You’re right,” he conceded. “Burn it!”
He then promptly dropped the papers on the floor, drew his laser gun, and shot them on fire.
“Lance!” exclaimed Carla. “Not in here!”
They were standing near the door that she quickly opened before beginning to stomp out the flaming papers on the floor. Lance just watched.
“Whelp, problem solved,” said Lance smiling right after the fire was out.
Carla shot him an angry glare. Fortunately Nick had slept throughout the whole fiasco.
[Author -- Sheila Bliss, based on the previous creation of Voltron by World Events Productions]
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